Thursday, November 29, 2007

More Aliens to Resist

Okay, when I heard the X-Files movie wasn't going to be about aliens, I just said to myself, that's cool, it will be interesting anyway. They're actually talking about having Frank Black(Lance Henriksen) in it so I am doubly interested.

But then I read this.

George Lucas and Steven Spielberg need to be taken to rehab. Enough with the aliens. Chris Carter should sue their asses over this. Indiana Jones goes to Area 51, and now aliens are going to show up in some half-ass remake of the LAST CRUSADE, sitting over a crystal skull in some temple?

Hey, man, I love B movies. I love BBBBAd movies. I love movies about alien invasions and the X-Files and you know all about it, but isn't Indiana Jones about supernatural artifacts and battling Nazis? Not freaking alien artifacts and KGB Agents.

First we saw the distortion of Star Wars with the "Special Editions," then we saw the dawn of JarJar Binks. Then we watched in horror as Darth Vader howled like Frankenstein. We also saw the Spielbergification of Philip K. Dick's Minority Report, and if we hadn't had the last of Xenu, it was then that Tom Cruise reared his ugly head once again in the most worthless movie since Phantom Menace, WAR OF THE WORLDS.

Perhaps Lucass and Schpielberg have become scientologists, maybe this would explain all this idiocy. Perhaps they were abducted back in 1994 by aliens, and replace with humanoid replicants, or worse, alien shapeshifters.

I have no answers for this madness. This most recent rumor-article wasn't the first I've heard about Aliens, in the most rediculously titles, "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls." More aptly titled, "Indiana Jones and the Curse of George Lucas."

These guys are really getting on my nerves. E.T. shows up in the Phantom Menace, and now freakin' INDIANA JONES. Maybe Lucas is up there at Skywalker Ranch doing hyper-doses of crystal meth, and coming up with this shit. The absurdity never ends with these guys now.

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